Best triathlon advice ever

Less then a month before my big tri. Yikes.

Besides the obvious physical training, I have also been doing lots of reading to pick up tips and tricks for the big event.

Here are the 3 of the funniest tips I have read recently:

The first 2 tips are from "The Triathlete's Training Bible" by Joe Friel. It's pretty intense reading. I feel like I'm studying for a biology degree when I'm reading most of it.

Tip 1: From the chapter on "Racing" (tips on race day)

Before leaving your room, use the toilet. If your body isn't accustomed to bowel movements first thing in the morning, train it to do so by going to the bathroom every morning before working out. A warm drink or a little food may help with this. Eventually it will become natural.

Hahah. Awesome. It's funny...because taking a shit is actually on my pre-race checklist. My checklist from my Alcatraz tri:

Tip 2: Later on in the Racing chapter.

When you arrive at the transition area, rack your bike and position equipment as you always do. Don't try anything new today. Visit the toilet. Acquaint yourself with landmarks for your rack, such as its position relative to trees, light poles, pavement marking, signs or other permanent markers. Visit the toilet. Walk to the swim and bike finishes and locate your transition stall from those perspectives. Visit the toilet. Rehearse the best route from each to your rack two or three times. And, of course, visit the toilet.

OK, Joe...we get it. Triathlete's need to shit.

The next tip is from my Spin class instructor Edith. She gives out these great hand outs every class. The topic of the last hand out was: "Maintaining Balance & Health: Ancient Wisdom from Modern Athletes".

Tip 3: Sexual Activity and Athletic Performance

In Chinese Medicine, sex is considered a natural and healthy activity. As with everything else, moderation is the key. Too little sex can result in illness relating to stagnancy or accumulation (Editor: blue balls). Too much sex will deplete and exhaust the body. The ancient medical texts offered elaborate discussions including mathematical equations on how often men should ejaculate as he ages, and techniques for enjoying sexual activity without ejaculation and "depleting one's essence". In modern times, we can giggle about these exact numerical prescriptions and techniques. But the idea of considering sexual activity in the context of one's health and sports performance is both interesting and important.

Without a doubt, two people of the same age will be different. It's always best to listen to your body. If you feel fatigue/weakness after sex, or if your athletic performance is affected by having sex before the night before big workouts or competitions, then you may be having sex or ejaculating too frequently (Editor: too frequently? is that possible?). Also, traditionally, it is said that the healing of bones, tendons, and ligaments require the same "essence" that is also the source of reproductive/sexual energy. Moderation in sex, along with all other activities, is considered important in helping sports injuries heal more quickly.

Wait. So the more I ejaculate...the slower my injuries are going to heal? Great. No wonder my legs hurt so much.