My bad trip
I had about the worst travel experience of my life earlier this week (yes..this post isn't about drugs).
I was in New Jersey for a 2 hour meeting on Tuesday. It was an important meeting so I don't mind having to fly across the country for a 2 hr meeting.
The trip there on Monday was uneventful. Drove and parked at SFO (SF airport), jumped on a 4.5 hr flight to Newark, NJ and then had a car take me to my hotel. It was about a 50 mile drive to my hotel so it took about 1 hr to drive there.
On Tuesday our meeting ended at 3:30 PM EST and my flight out of Newark didn't leave until 6:20. Plenty of time to catch the flight right? WRONG! Here is the Seinfeldesque sequence of events that went down:
The drive from my meeting to Newark. 51.6 miles that should have taken 1 hr and 10 minutes.
- WRONG. There was a monster accident involving numerous big rigs on 95 and the 1 hr drive became 3 hrs and 40 minutes. Yes, almost 4 hrs to drive 50 miles.
- We (me and 2 coworkers) obviously miss our 6:20 flight but we are hoping we can catch ANYTHING out of Newark.
- We get to Newark at 7:15 PM EST. Bad news, we have missed every single plane leaving Newark that would have gotten us back to the Bay Area. Including connections!!
- We call around and find out there is a JetBlue flight flying out of JFK at 8:50 PM into Oakland. Good lord, can we make it? This is how far it is from Newark to JFK (32 miles - 54 minutes according to google maps).
- We ask a cabbie how long it will take to get to JFK and he says between 45 minutes and an hour and a half. Shit, it is already 7:30 and the last flight to the bay out of anywhere in New York leaves in 1 hr and 20 minutes.
- But we go for it! We jump in the cab and the cab driver goes warp speed to JFK. He is swerving through cars like an F1 racer. We come across an accident (of course) and he maneuvers us expertly through it.
- We make it to the airport at 8:30 EST and the cab costs about $100 bucks. We have 20 minutes before the plane leaves!!
- We do the mad airport sprint to the JetBlue counter. We don't even have tickets yet!
- We beg and plead for them to let us buy tickets. The absolutely AMAZING JetBlue agent calls the gate (the plane is boarding already) and asks for permission. They say OK but we need to HURRY!
- We buy the tickets right on the spot and the attendant says: "You're not going to make it unless I run with you"
- She hops over the counter and screams: "Run run run"
- We are SPRINTING through the airport weaving through other passengers who are just staring at us in awe.
- We get to security and the JetBlue attendant brings us right to the front of the line and hustles us in. All the time yelling: "hurry hurry hurry". I'm oddly reminded of my highschool girlfriend.
- I put all my stuff on the Xray machine, take off my shoes and belt and get through the scanner.
- I glance at my watch: 8:48.
- I come out to pick up my goods to have the JetBlue agent yell in my ear: "hurry hurry hurry..the plane is about to close the doors. You don't have time to put on your belt" (once again, reminded of my highschool girlfriend)
- I grab everything haphazardly and we all start sprinting to the gates.
- My pants are literally falling down because I didn't have time to put on my belt
- All along the way, more JetBlue attendants are just yelling at us: "RUN RUN RUN"
- We get to the gate and it's still open! The lady at the gate of course yells: "Hurry, get to the plane fast!"
- We get to the plane..and we MAKE IT!
The moment we walk on the plane..dripping with sweat, my pants falling down, we're out of breath and the entire plane is staring at us...they close the door.
I check my watch: 8:50
Just on fucking time!
The flight is a long 6 hr flight that unfortunately brings us to Oakland. Great..my car is at SFO (30 miles away)
(Oakland airport to SF Airport - 30 miles)A coworker rents a car (that takes a while to get) and drives me to SFO for me to get my car and FINALLY drive home.
Here's the final tally:
- I leave to the airport at 3:30 PM EST (12:30 PST)
- I walk into my house a little after 2 am PST
THIRTEEN AND A HALF HOURS TO GET HOME!!
All for a 2 hour meeting.
We better win this F'n deal.